Relationship Dynamics Quiz

 

At any point in a relationship, it’s hard to know exactly where you stand. Sometimes, it feels like those heady early days were a lifetime ago. Soon, questions begin to rise: Do I still love them? Am I ‘in’ love? Are they? But this isn’t reason to panic; questions are good, questions can be strengthening. Relationships require work, even the ones that appear from the outside to be ‘perfect’.  The fact that you’re here indicates that you want your relationship to improve, which is the first and most important step towards a healthy relationship.

This quiz is designed to give an overall view of the health of your relationship, as well as both you and your partner's contribution to the relationship. It is intended as an indication only, not a definitive diagnosis. However, this quiz should give you some understanding of where your relationship is currently at, and provide an interesting discussion starter for you and your partner. Questions should be answered based on the current circumstances of your relationship (i.e the past 6-24 months).

1. I tell my partner that I love/appreciate them
2. My partner tells me that they love/appreciate me
3. When someone criticizes my partner, I support my partner even if I don't necessarily agree with their position
4. When someone criticizes me, my partner supports me even if they don't necessarily agree with my position
5. I do nice things for my partner without being asked
6. My partner does nice things for me without being asked
7. When my partner disagrees with me, I do my best to understand their point of view
8. When I disagree with my partner, they do their best to understand my point of view
9. I initiate intimate, non-sexual touch with my partner (e.g. holding hands, hugs etc)
10. My partner initiates intimate, non-sexual touch with me (e.g. holding hands, hugs etc)
11. I like to have meaningful conversations with my partner about our dreams, goals, fears and worries
12. My partner likes to have meaningful conversations with me about our dreams, goals, fears and worries
13. I check in with my partner to see how they are feeling
14. My partner checks in with me to see how I am feeling
15. When there is an important decision to be made, I consult with my partner and take their opinion into consideration
16. When there is an important decision to be made, my partner consults with me and takes my opinion into consideration
17. I ensure that I don't take my anger out on my partner, either verbally (insults etc) or physically
18. My partner ensures that they don't take their anger out on me, either verbally (insults etc) or physically
19. I am attracted to my partner, and enjoy our sexual encounters
20. My partner is attracted to me, and appears to enjoy our sexual encounters
21. When there is an important issue in our relationship, I ensure my partner feels comfortable to approach me with it
22. When there is an important issue in our relationship, my partner ensures I feel comfortable to approach them with it
23. I look forward to seeing my partner again after being away from each other
24. My partner appears happy to see me again after being away from each other
25. I know what my partner enjoys sexually and I try hard to meet their needs
26. My partner knows what I enjoy sexually and tries hard to meet my needs
27. I criticse, berate or belittle my partner
28. My partner criticizes, berates or belittles me
29. I look for and appreciate the positive things my partner brings to the relationship
30. My partner looks for and appreciates the positive things I bring to the relationship
31. I understand and respect my partners most important values
32. My partner understands and respects my most important values
33. I prioritise things so that I can spend quality time with my partner
34. My partner prioritises things so that they can spend quality time with me
35. When my partner does something that upsets me and then apologises, I happily forgive them believing it was a genuine mistake
36. When I do something that upsets my partner and then apologise, my partner happily forgives me believing it was a genuine mistake
37. I am enthusiastic about organizing romantic dates/weekends/holidays with my partner
38. My partner is enthusiastic about organizing romantic dates/weekends/holidays with me
39. I look forward to our future together with great enthusiasm
40. My partner conveys to me their enthusiasm about our future together

 

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