Many of my clients have tried marriage counselling and report feeling disillusioned with the experience. They often say that in the marriage counselling sessions: ‘we just went round and round in circles focusing on the problems and never got anywhere’, or ‘the marriage counsellor took my partner’s side and blamed me for all the problems’, or worse ‘the counsellor told us we would be better off just breaking up’.
Of course not all marriage counsellors are guilty of this, some are very effective, but the differences between relationship coaching and marriage counselling can be significant.
I believe that if couples seek help, they do not want to break up. I believe they want to find a way to stop going around in circles with their arguments and feelings of discontent.
As an alternative to marriage counselling
As an alternative to marriage counselling, relationship coaching takes an inclusive approach.
Relationship coaching is not about finding blame or guilt or seeking to gain retribution from one another.
Relationship coaching helps you both learn how your way of thinking, behaving and communicating affects your partner. We work together and focus on developing your relationship in the way that you both would like it to be.
You will learn to listen and understand what the other person actually means, not just the words that they are saying. You will both learn to communicate in a way with empathy for their feelings and motivations, as well as your own feeling and motivations.